Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
