She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
