I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
