This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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