He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
