Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
honey bunches of taint.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
