i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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