I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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