I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
