well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
