Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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