He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
