i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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