suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
