Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize