I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
