i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
