Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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