All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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