I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
