I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
