And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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