More tranny stories later!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
