I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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