i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
