Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
