If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
