We're facebook friends in real life
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
