Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She bit a glass in half.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
