# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
