i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
