It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
