im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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