Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
