what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Will exercising make me less horny?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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