I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
