: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
