i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
