She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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