Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
