She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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