Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
