12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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