so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
