I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
