remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
