i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
