i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
