Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
try to milk me bitch
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