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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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