Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Banned from zoo.
Again?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Randomize
