Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
