And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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