Don't you send me to vm
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She told me I should be a condom model.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
