i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize