Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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