i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
