You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
