Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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