So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
