I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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