yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
