Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
