I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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