What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
