shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
