Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
