sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
