And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
