And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
