would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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