so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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