Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
