Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So I just went to clothing optional bar
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
